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help you to dig! I can give you methods to dig but I cannot give you the answer. That will be inimical to you, that will be destructive.
Do three, four groups more, and the answer will come but don't wait for it to come from the outside; it has to come from the inside. So listen more and more, get attuned more and more to your inner being.
[The visitor says he doesn't want to take sannyasin from a mental decision, but with his feelings.]
That's very true. It is very good if you can be a sannyasin from your heart... but the heart may be a long way away. Then it is better to be a sannyasin from the head than not to be a sannyasin at all! The choice is not between the head and the heart right now. The choice is between being a sannyasin from the head or not being a sannyasin from the head. Both will be from the head; the heart will take a little longer.
And if you are a sannyasin, even from the head, that will help the heart to start functioning. So think about it. Nothing is wrong with the head either. It is better than not to be a sannyasin at all.
[The visitor answers: I have heard you say it's important to be first-hand, not to be second-band.]
Mm mm, that's perfectly true: each of my sannyasins is a first-hand sannyasin.
... Nobody is a copy of anybody else; they are not copies of me.
[The visitor replies: I think they are; the sannyasins want to be copies of you.]
That is their misunderstanding. If somebody wants to.... But I am continuously throwing them to themselves. And you need not be that way! Even if others are making the mistake you need not: you need not try to become a copy of me. Think about yourself. Why should you be worried about others? If they are going to hell, let them go. You can go to heaven! You can be a first-hand sannyasin. Why be worried about others? These are just tricks of the mind, strategies of the mind to keep you in control. There is no need to be a copy, at least not here.
Each of my sannyasins is individual; that's my message to them. If somebody persists, insists, on being foolish, then it is his decision. But I am not helping anybody to become anybody else's
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