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a name and that name can destroy the whole vision. For example, depth also feels like sadness because sadness has a depth. And we know sadness, we don't know depth, so when for the first time depth happens it looks like sadness.
Now, you are really going well. Your meditation is good, you are flowing, but because of this meditation and flow, depth is arising. That depth will look to you as if it is sad. You have to enjoy this depth, you have to love this depth. And then the interpretation disappears, a new door will open and you will see it is not sadness. But they overlap, that is true, and they look alike.
A very silent person can look sad. Buddha sitting silently, not doing anything.... He does not even smile but he is not sad. He looks sad, and many have thought that Buddha is sad, but even a smile is meaningless in that depth. He is so deep down in his being that even if he laughs from there it will not come to the lips, or by the time it reaches the lips it will be almost nil; it will lose all energy. But he is not sad. He is immensely ecstatic, he is blissful. How can he be sad?
Something of the depth is arising, so be loving towards it, be respectful towards it. If you call it sadness, you have showed your disrespect towards it. Then you can stop it and you can start pulling yourself out of it. There is no need; relax into it.
And of course when you start falling into depth, insecurity arises; that is a natural consequence of depth. Because depth means death. Depth means you start disappearing from the periphery. The you that you have always known yourself to be is disappearing. Insecurity will arise, and when insecurity arises you will start to project insecurity somewhere. You will project it on the woman you love because she is the closest. You need some curtain on which to project it, and [your girlfriend] becomes the curtain.
One has to rationalise, otherwise the mind feels very uneasy. One has to find some reason as to why one is insecure. The mind says you are insecure because of [your girlfriend]. She may leave you some day or she may go to somebody else or something may happen, and this love affair may not be always.
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