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men, it has nothing to do with sex; it has nothing to do with all that. It is just that you are avoiding yourself through occupation, and sex is very occupying because it brings all kinds of misery. Sex is just the engine and the train is of so many things, mm?
All types of compartments are there: jealousy and misery and pain and fight and anger and hatred. The whole train is loaded and sex is just the engine: It is not much; it just keeps the train running....
People go on doing but it is a vicious circle. Again you feel empty and then what to do? And it is always better, the mind says, to be occupied than not to be occupied. The mind says that it is better to have something, whatsoever it is, than have nothing. Even if it is misery it is okay; at least one is occupied.
But the time has come now: you stop! There is no need to run after anybody. If the relationship is going on with Veda make it more and more loving and silent, make it more and more of a friendship. There is no need to reject him half the time and then hanker for him the other half. That's what sexuality continues to do. It hankers and when the man starts coming towards you, you start running; that is the whole game. When the man starts going somewhere else, you start running after him. So either the man is going away and the woman is following, or the woman is going away and the man is following; they are never together.
It becomes an ego trip. You enjoy somebody desiring you, you enjoy somebody following you. You enjoy it that somebody is desperately in need of you; so how to feel that Attract him and then reject him! When you reject him he is in need and he is like a fish thrown out of water. You enjoy it. You know that you are very very significant to this man. Look how much he is suffering without you! And you can only know this if you reject.
When he is suffering too much you go and console him and you shower your love on him and you say 'Look how loving I am, without me where will you be?' Then he starts taking you for granted; again you have to reject him to create the same situation.
These are the games... but you have played them enough ! I have
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