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available, then a grace, a silence, a dignity arises. One becomes luminous from within.
And that is the criterion for whether the life has really been lived or not. If in your old age you become more and more beautiful every day, that means you have lived rightly. You lived; it has not been a sheer wastage. The last day has to be the most beautiful day in your whole life. And the last moment, when one is dying, has to be the most graceful.
And it happens! One just has to stop hankering, chasing, desiring, lusting, because those things create turmoil; they are destructive. So stop chasing. Be friendly...
[She says she has a lot of hang-ups about sex and orgasms; feeling inferior and left out of things.]
You have the western attitude about sex; that is creating trouble. The western attitude is always about making things happen, doing something! And there are a few things which cannot be done. There the West becomes very very crazy!
For example, sleep, sex. These are things you cannot do, so the West suffers very much from lack of sleep also, insomnia, and also from sex. Everybody is worried that he is not experiencing it as it should be. The orgasm is not coming or it is very local or it is very lukewarm or it is not total. And sleep is not good: there are too many dreams. Many times one wakes or one has to wait hours for it to come. People are trying all kinds of things to bring sleep: the tranquillizers, the tricks, the mantras and TM.
And about sex also people are very very worried. That very worry and that very effort to do something is the problem. Sex happens; it is not a thing that you have to do. So you have to learn the eastern attitude toward sex, the Tantra attitude. The Tantra attitude is that you be loving to a person. There is no need to plan, there is no need to rehearse in the mind. There is no need to do anything in particular: just be loving and available. Go on playing with each other's energy. And when you start making love, there is no need to make it great. Otherwise you will be pretending and so will the other person. He will pretend that he is a great lover and you will pretend that you are a great
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