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there is no sex between them, there will be much romantic love. But the moment sex comes in, love goes out. Sex is so abrupt. In itself, it is so violent. It needs an introduction; it needs foreplay. Love, as we know it, is just clothing for the naked fact of sex. If you look deeply into what you call love you will find sex standing there, preparing to jump. It is always around the corner. Love is talking. Sex is preparing.
This so-called love is associated with sex, but only as a preface. If sex comes, then the love will drop. That's why marriage kills romantic love, and kills it absolutely. The two persons become acquainted with each other and the foreplay, the love, becomes unnecessary.
Real love is not a preface. It is a fragrance. It is not before sex, but after. It is not a prologue but an epilogue. If you have passed through sex and feel compassion for the other, then love develops. And if you meditate, you will feel compassionate. If you meditate in the sex act, then your sexual partner will not be just an instrument for your physical pleasure. You will feel gratitude to him or her because you have both come to a deep meditation.
When you meditate in sex, a new friendliness will arise between the two of you because, through each other, you have come into communion with nature; through each other, you have had a glimpse into the unknown depths of reality. You will feel grateful and compassionate to each other: compassion for the suffering; compassion for the search; compassion for a fellow being, a fellow traveler.
If sex becomes meditative, only then is there a fragrance that lingers behind: a feeling that is not a foreplay of sex but a maturity, a growth, a meditative realization. So if the sex act becomes meditative, you will feel love. Love is a combination of gratefulness, friendliness and compassion. If these three are there, then you are in love.
If this love develops, it will transcend sex. Love develops through sex, but goes beyond it. Just like a flower it comes through the roots, but goes beyond. And it will not come back; there is no reversal. So if love develops, no sex will be there. In fact, that is one of
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