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BELOVED OSHO,
WHEN I WAS IN SWEDEN, I FELT MY HEART OPENING UP FOR YOU, FILLING ME WITH A DEEP FEELING OF LOVE AND JOY. NOW THAT I AM IN POONA, MY HEART SEEMS TO BE CLOSED AGAIN, RESISTING YOUR LOVE. THIS FILLS ME WITH SORROW. WHAT SHOULD I DO?
Carina Anderson, the time when you were in Sweden, I was just in your imagination. You were feeling your heart opening, but there was nobody to enter into your heart. You were feeling a deep fulfillment of love and joy, but that was all made of the same stuff dreams are made of.
Now that you are here, things are totally different. Keeping your heart open will make you afraid, because it is easy to let me in, but it is very difficult to throw me out.
I come into you like a guest, and soon you start feeling you are a guest and I am a host -- hence, the fear. Here, you are resisting my love, and you are saying, "This fills me with sorrow." It is natural that it will fill you with sorrow -- you must have dreamt so much, imagined so much, hoped so much and things have not turned out the way you wanted them to be.
You are asking, "What should I do?" Go back to Sweden, Poona, anyway, is not a good place to stay. And at least your heart was opening there. Although there was no guest knocking on your doors, at least you were imagining love, joy; and here you are closed, full of fear, and feeling sad and wondering what has happened.
So if you are a coward, then the easiest way is simply to go back to Sweden -- as you enter the plane, your heart will start opening again and you will start feeling love for me. But don't return -- enjoy your dreams. If you cannot enjoy the reality, why unnecessarily feel sad and sorrowful? But if you are courageous, then Poona cannot do anything to you. Then let your heart be open and don't be afraid of love.
In life, the only thing that one should not be afraid of is love.
But people are more afraid of love than anything else, because love is a kind of death. Your ego has to die. Only then will your heart be spacious enough for love to come in. But I warn you: beware! I come as a guest and soon I become the host. If you are ready to take
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