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arises. Each death is a beginning; the greater the death, the creater will be the beginning. If the death is total then total will be the beginning. We have to pay by dying; that courage is needed.
To be a sannyasin is the greatest courage possible, because there is no greater adventure in life; all else is trivial and mundane. This is the search for the heights beyond our reach, this is the search for the impossible; but the impossible happens if there is passion enough. If the passion is intense then the impossible also becomes possible; it all depends on our passion.
The passion is there and it has been gathering and gathering. You have been getting ready for a certain great moment and now the time has come, so be ready for it! Sometimes it happens that one has been waiting for it but when the moment comes, although one has been longing for it, one becomes so frightened that one escapes. But to long for the height is one thing and to pass through the journey, the hazardous journey, is another. Longing is a dream, anybody can desire god, but there are very few people who are ready to pay the price. And the price has to be paid by one's own life; nothing less will do. So it happens many times that people who have been desiring and searching, when they really find the door, they escape.
There is a very famous poem of Rabindranath Tagore, it is a parable, in which he says that he had been searching for god for many lives. He was crying and weeping and his love was great, he was ready to do anything and was ready to sacrifice anything, but god was always far away, far away. He would see him sometimes near a star, but by the time he reached there he was gone! He was so elusive. But one day it happened: he reached the door where god lived. He was utterly exhilarated, he was ecstatic; he rushed, he ran to the door. He was just going to knock on the door, then suddenly the thought arose in him that if he was really there, then he would be finished! Then what would he do? The search for god had been his whole style of life for many lives! That was the only thing that he knew, that was the only skill that he had learned: how to search for god. If he
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