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found him, then what would he do? If he was really there and was found, he would be finished! Then there would be nothing to be done! He became so afraid, the very idea of succeeding was so fearful that he escaped, and he started searching for him again.
He still cries and weeps and prays and searches and asks people 'Where does he live?' although he knows where he lives, because he knows that if he goes in that direction he is finished!
The seeker will have to be dissolved in the sought; that is the death I am talking about, that is the fire one has to pass through. Once one has passed through that fire, that door, that frightening experience when one dissolves and starts falling into an abyss... if one has accepted that then one has passed the examination. Then immediately all is joy, all is ecstasy.
[The new sannyasin says: I'm just a little bit worried about when I leave here and I go back to Mozambique. There's no Rajneesh centre there and no sannyasins.]
You will become my centre... you will become my centre. That's how my centres start. Don't be worried! And soon sannyasins will be coming -- I will manage it!
[A sannyasin who is leaving says he is confused: Sometimes I think I know and I find I didn't know at all; I just assumed I knew.]
Learn to live with the confusion. Don't be in a hurry to conclude. Confusion is not something necessarily wrong. Don't label it confusion. Labelling is wrong. Sometimes just a wrong label can create so much trouble. It is not really confusion: it is a state of transition, of change. You are uprooted from the old soil and you are searching for the new, and in-between the two there is bound to be this. It is not confusion, it is simply an unsettled, growing state. It is growth, and whenever there is growth one can label it confusion. But by labelling it confusion you have wrongly interpreted it; then you start somehow to solve it. If you call it growth then there is no hurry to solve it. In fact you have to support it: it is growth! If you call it confusion you have condemned it; now you have to find some way to come out of it.
There is no need to come out of it; learn to live
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