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from self, from existence' but one certainly 'is'. This is-ness is asmito. It is an experience of egoless existence. And this can be penetrated slowly slowly by becoming aware.
The process is awareness. Just watch your thoughts, your feelings. Everything changes; only I-am-ness remains permanent. One moment it is anger, another moment it is love, but they go on changing. One moment you are happy, another moment you are unhappy; they go on changing but one thing remains eternally there, and that is I-am-ness. That is never lost, not even in deep sleep; it persists.
It is as if I-am-ness is the mirror and on the mirror a thousand and one things are reflected and they go on passing. There is a procession, the whole traffic of the mind goes on by, but the mirror remains. It simply reflects: when it is confronted by anger it reflects anger; when sadness comes, it reflects sadness. One cloud moves, another comes and another, and it goes on reflecting all kinds of forms and shapes. Still, it is neither of them; it is neither happiness nor unhappiness. It is just a mirror reflecting.
That is asmito, that innermost mirror of consciousness, and to find it is to find god. It is the door into pure existence. But first one has to attain one's own pure existence, uncontaminated by the idea of ego, and from there one can easily slip into the eternal ocean of god.
Sva means self, samvado means communion -- to be in communion with oneself. That's the whole process of meditation. People are divided against themselves; everybody is living a split life. The difference is only of degree, otherwise everyone on this earth is schizophrenic. Nobody is really healthy because health means wholeness and nobody is whole; everybody is divided.
For centuries the society has been using that strategy to destroy the integrity of the individual. It gives you ideals, it tells you how you should be. It never allows you to love yourself as you are. It creates division: you are one thing, the society says you have to be something else; you become two. Your ideal self creates a constant tension in you. Your real self also becomes a burden because you don't want it; the
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