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very deep. When you understand, you don't become a Buddhist. When you understand, you become a buddha yourself. When you understand, you don't become a Christian. When you understand, you become Christ yourself. Following will make you a Christian. Understanding will make you a christ -- and tremendous is the difference. Following is again 'decidophobia'. Following means: Now I will simply follow blindly. Now there is no question of my own decision. Now wherever you go, I will go. Understanding is: Whatsoever you say, I will listen, I will meditate. And if my understanding arises and gets in tune with your understanding, then I will follow my understanding.
Teachers are helpful, they indicate the way. Don't cling to them. Following is a clinging -- it is out of fear, not out of understanding.
Once you become a follower, you are losing the track. Once you become a follower, one thing is certain: that you are not inquiring any more. You can become a theist and you can say, "God is, I believe in God." You can become an atheist and you can say, "I don't believe in God. I am an atheist, or a communist," but in both the cases you have joined a church. You have joined a doctrine, a dogma. You have joined a mob, a crowd.
The search is individual, full of danger. Alone one has to move. But that is the beauty of it. In deep aloneness, only in deep aloneness where not even a thought is present, God enters in you, or is revealed to you. In deep aloneness, intelligence becomes a flame, bright. In deep aloneness, silence and bliss surround you. In deep aloneness, eyes open, your being opens. The search is individual.
What am I doing here? I am trying to make you individuals. You would like to become part of a crowd, you would like that because it is very convenient and comfortable to follow like a blind man. But I am not here to make you blind. I am not here to allow you to cling to me, because then I will not be in any way helpful to you. I will allow you to be close to me, but I will not allow you to cling. I will allow you all the possibilities to understand me, but I will not allow you to believe in me. The difference is subtle but great. And remain
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