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Main Index
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many directions simultaneously? There is bound to be unease, tension, anguish, anxiety.
Nobody can live with doubt and in doubt. Doubt pushes you towards trust, doubt says, 'Go and find a place where you can relax, where you can be totally.' Doubt is your friend. It simply says, 'This is not the home. Go ahead, search, seek, inquire.' It creates the urge to inquire, to explore.
Once you start seeing doubt as a friend, as an occasion, not against trust but pushing you towards it, suddenly, guilt disappears. There is great joy. Even when you doubt, you doubt joyously, you doubt consciously, and you use doubt to find trust. It is absolutely normal.
You say, 'I do not know if you are enlightened.'
How can you know it? There is no way to know it unless you become enlightened. How can you know what has happened to me unless it happens to you too? It is absolutely right to feel that you cannot trust me sometimes. The miracle is that sometimes you can trust. Just those few moments will be enough. Don't be worried. Trust has such infinite power. Trust is just like light and doubt is like darkness.
Just a small candle of trust is enough to destroy the darkness of ages. The darkness cannot say, 'I have lived in this place for so long, I cannot leave so easily and I cannot leave only because of this small candle.' Even a small candle is more potential than the darkness of ages, of centuries, of thousands of lives. But it will have to go... once the light is there it has to go.
Those few moments of trust -- let them be far and few in between, don't be worried -- they are enough to destroy all your doubts, slowly slowly. And by 'destroying' I mean just releasing the energy contained in doubt. Just breaking the shell called doubt... and deep inside you will find the pure energy to trust. Once it is released more and more trust will be available to you.
You say, 'I do not know if you are enlightened.'
Good that you don't believe. If you start believing you will stop seeking. A believer never moves -- he has already believed. That's why there are millions of people worshipping in the churches, temples, mosques, GURUDWARA...
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