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like this happens, allow it. It will go on its own, it will disappear. That's why you became ill: something was happening and you forced it back. Out of fear you cramped your being and you shrank. That very cramping brought the illness -- never do it again. If it is too frightening or something, come to me. For what am I here? Just come to me or you can write a letter. But never stop anything that is happening. Let it go to its end -- then it will finish. When it does you will feel very very cleansed, purified.
[A sannyasin asks: I have a problem because I am very ungrateful, and I would like to know how I can enjoy being ungrateful... ]
Then you must be having some idea that it is wrong; that will not be allowing you to enjoy it.
[She says: It feels like it creates misery -- the ungratefulness.]
Mm, it does -- that's true. It creates misery, because when you are ungrateful, you become closed to the universe. You are no more open, you are no more flowing because you don't respond. You don't say 'thank you'. The universe goes on giving so much to you and you don't even say 'thank you', so the process stops and you will be miserable.
If you want to enjoy ungratefulness, you will have to enjoy misery too. It is the same package; they go together. If you don't want to enjoy the misery, start being a little more grateful and you will never lose anything by it -- you will get more. By being grateful you will get much more, because when you become able to say 'thank you' to the universe, the universe pours itself into you more happily. Then more flowers will flower for you.
So this is for you to decide, I'm not saying to drop it. I am simply saying that if you want to enjoy ungratefulness, then in the same package misery comes to you. If you want to enjoy blissfulness, you will have to learn the ways of being grateful. And what is the trouble in being grateful? The trouble is the ego, because to be grateful means to be humble.
So whenever you don't feel grateful, that simply shows that you are very egoistic. You take things that the universe gives you for granted and you say 'That's already my right. If you don't
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