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in the water and yet untouched. That is the ideal for the sannyasin. Not that one escapes, then there is no water. Not that one gets soaked with water, then you are not a lotus leaf.
Be in the water, be in the turmoil of involvement, in the problems that commitment brings, that intimacy brings, love brings; be in it and yet remain aloof. And by and by one learns -- it is a knack. One learns by doing it. Then a great balance arises. With that balance all fear disappears.
Come back and get involved, mm?
[A visitor says: I don't know if I'm ready to stop holding back.]
Nobody knows. Holding back is just a tendency of the mind, a natural tendency. In fact to say that the mind holds back is not right. This holding back is what the mind is. Once you don't hold back, the mind disappears. And with the disappearance of the mind is the appearance of your being, of your true being. This holding back simply says that one goes on clinging to the past. Of course there is nothing to cling to because the past has gone. If you open your fist there is nothing to hold, the past is gone. It is just in the memory, it is no more part of reality. But we go on holding it, hoping that maybe it is somewhere and can be reclaimed.
And holding back is also a subtle fear of the unknown, the unfamiliar, the strange. By and by you will start living a very dead life, because the unknown is what life is, and each moment one has to take the risk again and again of living. Each morning one has to take a risk again. It is very risky, and there is no security. One never knows where one is going, so that the mind holds back. The mind is a safety measure, mm? -- a key to the known, to the familiar. Make a definition -- don't go beyond it. Make a boundary. But all boundaries are imprisonments. And then one suffers.
Man is made in such a way that unless the whole sky is his boundary he will be miserable. Less than that won't do. One needs to expand, and one has to become the expansion. Then there is enthusiasm and there is zest and there is juice, mm? because each moment is a new victory; you expand. Each moment there is a new challenge. You accept and you go on
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