| |
the consequences and the implications.
A child knows the mother; that is his basic understanding about a woman. But his mother is only one woman amongst millions, and they are all different, but he will carry that idea in his mind. Even when he gets married he will look for his mother in his wife and he will not find her, so he will be unsatisfied.
When he falls in love he will fall in love with a woman who looks in some way like his mother or resembles her in some way. Now he has become fixated. This is a fixation; in the future it will be thought of as being a neurosis. He is not liquid and fluid.
If he had known many women, many men, as mother, as father, if he had lived in many families, if he had been mobile, not in a static structure, then he would have known much more about men and women, and there would be more possibility of his being happy.
One should be ready to slip out of things easily, so don't create any guilt or any prick of the conscience that this is not good; this is perfectly good. A relationship is good only as far as it creates joy; that is my definition of a relationship. The moment it stops creating joy you have no obligation to be in it. In fact, it is immoral to be in it. It is destructive to you, destructive to the person, and destructive to the child too, because the child will also see a stuck, dead thing.
Get out of it! Start moving and let the man also move. Even lawyers and germans have a future. One never knows! He may fall in love again and things will start flowing for him. People should not get stuck and be obsessed with things. They should be moving.
So whatsoever the problems, they are secondary; don't make them excuses to remain in it. If you want to remain in it then who am I to tell you to get out of it? I am not telling you, I am not ordering you to get out of it. I am simply saying that if things are not flowing any more then there is no point: it is simple courtesy to get out of it.
And whatsoever risk is there has to be taken. I don't think that you will repent; you will be happy. Find another man; start living again, be young again! Fall in love as many times as you can.
|
|
|