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"I am trying to change and I am saying loudly and shouting loudly I want to change, and still if nothing is happening what can I do?"
You cannot change -- the last thing I would like to say about this question -- YOU cannot change. You can only allow change to happen. Trying to change, you will never change. Who is trying? The old? Look at the inner logic of it: you are trying to change yourself. It is almost like pulling yourself up by your own shoe-strings. What can happen out of it? Nothing is possible. You cannot change yourself, because WHO is this one who is trying to change? It is your past. It is you.
You can allow a change to happen. What can you do to allow it? Please don't agree and disagree with me. You just listen! You just be here. You just let my presence function as a catalytic agent. You just get infected by me. You just catch the disease that I am having, the measles that I am having. You just allow me. You don't try to change yourself.
This allowing is what surrender is all about.
A sannyasin is not one who has agreed with me. If he has agreed with me, then he is not a sannyasin, then he is a follower. Just as Christians are followers of Christ -- they have agreed with Christ, but that has not changed them. Just as Buddhists are followers of Buddha -- they have agreed with Buddha, but that has not changed them. Can't you see the whole world is following somebody or other?
So to follow is a way to avoid change. Please don't follow me. You simply listen to what is happening here, you see what is happening here. You just look into me, and you give me way -- so my energy can start functioning on your energy. It is not a mind thing: it is a total affair... so that you can start vibrating in the same wavelength -- even for a few moments.
Those moments will bring change, those moments will bring glimpses of the unknown. Those moments will make you aware that there is eternity beyond time. Those moments will give you a feel of what it is to be in meditation. Those moments will allow you a little taste of God, of Tao, of Tantra, of Zen. Those moments will bring the possibility of change, because those moments will
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