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one night without even saying anything to her. She said to Buddha 'Couldn't you have trusted me? You could have said that you wanted to go, and I would have been the last woman in the world to prevent you. Couldn't you have trusted me even that much?' And she was crying. Twelve years of anger! And this man had escaped like a thief in the middle of the night -- suddenly, without giving a single hint to her.
Buddha apologized and he said 'It was out of non-understanding. I was ignorant, I was not aware. But now I am aware and I know -- that's why I have come back. You have helped me tremendously. Forget those old things, now there is no point in thinking about 'spilt milk'. Look at me! Something great has happened. I have come home. And I felt my first duty was towards you: to come, and to convey, and to share my experience with you.'
The anger gone, the rage subsided, Yashodhara looked out through her tears. 'Yes, this man has changed tremendously.' This was not the same man she used to know. This was not the same man, not at all; this looked like a great luminosity... She could almost see the aura, a light around him. And he was so peaceful and so silent; he had almost disappeared. His presence was almost absence. And then, in spite of herself, she forgot what she was doing -- she fell at his feet and she asked to be initiated.
When you understand, there is bound to be compassion. That's why I don't say to my sannyasins to leave their families. Be there.
Rabindranath has written a poem about this incident when Buddha comes. Yashodhara asked him one thing. 'Just tell me one thing' she said. 'Whatever you have attained... I can see you have attained, whatsoever it is. I don't know what it is -- just tell me one thing: was it not possible to attain it here in this house?' And Buddha could not say no. It was possible to attain it here in this house. Now he knew. Because it has nothing to do with forest or with town, with family or with ashram -- it has nothing to do with any place; it has something to do with your innermost core. It is available everywhere.
First, you will start feeling that your interest in the other is loosening.
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