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Main Index
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recognize that something appeals in you, but your totality is not appealing. That's why each husband tries to change the wife and each wife tries to change the husband. What are they trying to do? Why? Why does a wife continuously try to change the husband? For what? She has fallen in love with this man, then immediately she starts changing this man. Now that she has become aware of the dissimilarities, she wants to drop those dissimilarities. She wants to take a few chunks off this man, so that he completely fits with her idea of a man. And the husband tries also -- not so hard, not so stubbornly as women try, because the husband becomes tired very soon -- the woman hopes longer.
The woman thinks 'Today or tomorrow or the day after tomorrow -- some day I will change...' It takes almost twenty, twenty-five years to recognize the fact that you cannot change the other. By the age of fifty, when the woman has passed her menopause and the man too, when they are getting really old, then they become alert by and by that nothing has changed. They have tried hard, they have tried every way... the woman remains the same and the man remains the same. Nobody can change anybody. This is a great experience to come to -- a great understanding.
That's why old people become more tolerant: they know that nothing can be done. That's why old people become more graceful: they know that things are as they are. That's why old people become more accepting. Young people are very angry, nonaccepting. They want to change everything. They want to make the world the way they would like it. They struggle hard, but it has never happened; it cannot happen -- it is not in the nature of things.
The outer man can never fit with your inner man and the outer woman can never be absolutely the same as your inner woman. That's why love gives pleasure and pain too. Love gives happiness and unhappiness too. And, the unhappiness is much more than the happiness.
What does Tantra propose about it? What has to be done then?
Tantra says: There is no way to be satisfied with the outer; you will have to move inward. You will have to find your inner woman and inner man. You will
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