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in the presence of this man -- just to feel his love showering, his silence penetrating to the very core of my being -- is so much, that to ask for more is simply ungratefulness."
But these are the paradoxes of life: Mahakashyap was the first to become enlightened. His totality in being a disciple was enough to make him enlightened. And the only thing known about him in the Buddhist scriptures is that he laughed. That was the first time that he made any gesture.
Buddha looked at him and said, "Mahakashyap, you never speak -- why are you laughing?"
He said, "It's hilarious! I was trying to hide myself so that I wouldn't come into the direct focus of you. And there are so many who are desirous of enlightenment, of truth, of the ultimate, that I thought, `Let all of them reach; I can wait. This waiting is so beautiful.' But I had to laugh because I'm the first to have entered the world of enlightenment -- and I never asked about it."
Buddha said, "It is because you never asked about it. You in fact even dropped the desire for it. You were coming closer to it, you even became afraid that it might happen, so you were hiding in corners, you would never ask a question. And I knew that it was going to happen to you first -- before anyone else -- because these are the qualities that are needed. Unknowingly you fulfill all the conditions. And don't be angry with me; I have nothing to do with it. You are solely responsible for what has happened."
Mahakashyap said, "I have only one desire: though I have become enlightened -- and it is a tremendous experience -- please allow me, while you are alive, not to be sent anywhere else. Let me remain in your commune wherever you move."
It was a moving, wandering commune -- a few days here, a few days in another place. Buddha said, "I cannot say no to you; you have never asked anything."
Mahakashyap remained his whole life with Gautam Buddha. When Gautam Buddha died, then he started speaking. Asked why, he said, "Now I have to create the same atmosphere for those who don't have any taste of disciplehood. I had no intention of becoming a master, but destiny would not allow me not to. I
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