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Main Index
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not.'I' am yet not. How can I promise? I do not know what I am going to be tomorrow. I do not have any Self which can promise, so do not ask me the impossible. I will try. I can say this much at the most: I will try. But I cannot say that whatsoever you say I will do, because who will do it? I am seeking that which can promise and which can fulfill a promise.'I' am yet not."
Buddha said, "Maulungputra, to hear this I asked you that question. If you had promised, I would have turned you out. Had you said,'I promise that I will do it,' then I would have known that you are not really a seeker for the Self, because a seeker must know that 'he' is yet not. Otherwise, what is the purpose of seeking? If you are already, there is no need. You are not! And if one can feel this, then the ego evaporates."
Ego is a false notion of something which is not there at all. "Self" means a center which can promise. This center is created by being continuously aware, constantly aware. Be aware that you are doing something -- that you are sitting, that now you are going to sleep, that now sleep is coming to you, that you are falling. Try to be conscious in every moment, and then you will begin to feel that a center is born within you, things have begun to crystallize, a centering is there. Everything now is related to a center.
We are without centers. Sometimes we feel centered, but those are moments when a situation makes you aware. If there is suddenly a situation, a very dangerous situation, you will begin to feel a center in you because in danger you become aware. If someone is going to kill you, you cannot think in that moment, you cannot be unconscious in that moment. Your whole energy is centered, and that moment becomes solid. You cannot move to the past, you cannot move to the future. This very moment becomes everything. And then you are not only aware of the killer: you become aware of yourself -- the one who is being killed.
In that subtle moment you begin to feel a center in yourself. That is why dangerous games have their appeal. Ask someone going to the top of Gaurishanker, of Mount Everest. When for the first time Hillary was there, he must
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