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of the pain? Is someone else responsible for it or is it your way of life, your constant endeavour to feed your ego that is the cause? Or, when you have experienced joy, in that moment of bliss, look within and you will find the 'I' completely missing in you.
In the hour of pain, the ego crystallizes even more. The shadow of the ego is the pain itself. But we endeavour to save the ego and enter heaven too! The 'I' must be saved and heaven must also be attained. But if the 'I' is saved, you cannot achieve bliss because the 'I' is the pain, the misery itself.
Therefore it is necessary to break our present patterns of life at certain places and also to become alert and awakened in a different sense. Lao Tzu says: "Step back into oblivion in your hour of success."
We should also recognise the alternative implication of this statement: Do not hide in obscurity in the hour of defeat. Leave not the streets of your town in the hour of defeat, but step back into obscurity when rewarded with success so much so that no one sees you. He who steps back in the hour of his glory his ego disappears at once. And he who stands doggedly in the face of defeat? His ego also vanishes.
As opposed to this, there are two ways which help to strengthen the ego: To hide in the hour of defeat and to reveal yourself to all the world in the hour of your success. It is because of the ego that we hide ourselves in defeat and it is because of the ego that we wish to display ourselves in the hour of success.
When a person begins to understand fully the character of the ego and the means through which it develops, he can play with it. At present, the ego plays with us; but when a man is prepared to play with his ego he is filled with strength and is freed from the ego.
Gurdjieff was in New York where his theories were being widely acclaimed. One of his disciples has recorded, "We could never understand Gurdjieff. Whenever his mission almost reached completion he somehow turned it into a failure. He never missed a single opportunity to do so. And oh, the trouble he took, the way he toiled to fulfil his aims!"
Gurdjieff established many ashrams. There
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