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to me is to be close to your death.
The ancient Eastern sutras say that the master is nothing but death, and the disciple is one who is ready to die. But death is a prerequisite for being reborn. Jesus cannot be resurrected if he is not crucified.
Once a Christian missionary was asking me, "How do you explain the fact that God allowed Jesus to be crucified?"
Christians have been at a loss to explain it. On the one hand they say that Jesus is the only-begotten son of God... and the father must have been absolutely cruel to allow Jesus to be crucified. Everybody was waiting for a miracle to happen that day; even the enemies were thinking that something was going to happen. Thousands of people gathered to see the miracle. They had seen Jesus, known Jesus, they had looked into his eyes, they had felt his vibe. He was a rare man: he had something of the supernatural about him. He had something which is not ordinarily available: a depth, a height. He had roots going deep into the earth and wings to fly to the ultimate. People had felt all this: the grace, the beauty, the grandeur of his being. They had felt the peace, the silence, surrounding him. They had felt the nourishing love that continuously flowed from his being towards others. Something was bound to happen -- God could not leave Jesus, God had to do something. They were waiting for the last moment.
It seems that even Jesus himself was waiting for something to happen, because in the last moments he said, "Why have you forsaken me? What have I done?" It shows that deep down somewhere he was also hoping that something would happen, that maybe at the last moment he would be saved. But there seems to have been nothing happening. God seems to be absolutely cold, indifferent, not concerned. Of course, Christian theologians, priests, have been worried about it. They can't answer why God did not do anything on that day.
This missionary was asking me. I said, "You don't understand the whole phenomenon. If God had done any miracle and Jesus had been saved, the whole story would have been very ordinary. God did not do anything; he allowed Jesus to die. In fact, he helped in every possible
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