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Main Index
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are c man of presence you will HAVE to do it, even in spite of yourself, even against yourself. And you know, many of my sannyasins are here in SPITE of themselves.
Now there is Ashoka. He has been fighting with me for years not to become a sannyasin. He HAS become a sannyasin, he HAD to become, but still the fight is there! The old is not completely gone. There are moments when the old jumps and tries to take possession. He is a sannyasin in spite of himself! And there are many, and it is natural, because you are so identified with the circumference that when you start hearing the voice from the center there is a problem: whom to choose, the mother or the Master? the teacher or the Master? the past or the present? Whom to choose? When there is no voice from the center there is no question of choice. There are a few things but all are on the surface: which dress to wear today and which not, and to which movie to go and to which not, and what book to read and what book to purchase -- things like that, meaningless choices. Whether you go to this movie or that finally makes no difference. Whether you wear this dress or that makes no difference. Whether you fall in love with this woman or that or with this man or that makes not much difference.
But when the voice from the center is heard, then you are divided into two worlds, two unbridgeable worlds. The abyss is great. You are torn apart. You will have a GREAT chaos. But if you are a man of meditation only then will you be able to absorb that chaos and make some order out of disorder.
Hence my insistence for meditation, because unless you are deep in meditation you will not be able to understand me,,and you will not be able to go with me.
There are people -- particularly Indians -- who come here and they say, "SATSANG is enough. We just want to be in your presence. Why should have do meditation?" They don't understand. They cannot be in my presence because they are not present yet They are not MOJUD. Just sitting by my side is not real SATSANG, because you can think a thousand and one thoughts sitting by my side. You can be physically here and you may not be psychologically here at all.
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