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and no light!
Christianity has become such a dull and boring religion that even people who pay lip-service to it don't trust it. So even when a person prays he knows it is nonsense. The whole life he thought it was nonsense. Now how can he suddenly pray?
The whole life he laughed about the idea, thought that it was childish, fictitious, primitive. The whole life he had the idea that he was very intellectual, intelligent, sceptical, this and that. Now in the old age when death starts knocking on the door, he starts praying... but that prayer remains phoney; there is no heart in it.
Talk about meditation... tell him what is happening here. Tell him about yourself, what you were doing here. Take a few books, put them there, play a few tapes. And don't bother about whether he is interested or not; that is not the point. Let him listen -- he will become interested; leave the books -- he will read. He will ask things and some day, just meditate there in front of him sitting there silently. That can be the best help a son can give to his father.
If you can introduce him to meditation, you have served him.
[A sannyasin says: I've done many groups and people always tell me I'm like a machine or a robot and that I don't feel and I'm insensitive... ]
But I don't think they are right. They may have convinced you because they are dangerous people and they go on hammering the same ideas again and again, but they are not right.
How can you be a robot and a machine? Nobody can be. You can pretend, and if you are convinced by their idea you will start pretending, but you are not. How can you confuse a robot, tell me? You cannot! I can confuse you; that simply means you are not a robot! You are perfectly okay.
Prove them wrong! Start living a life of feeling, mm? Prove them wrong. Nothing is a problem. They have given you a challenge! Don't accept the idea; take it as a challenge. They have challenged you -- that you are a robot; now it is up to you to prove you are not. There is no need to agree with them; prove that you are not! So from this moment start living through feeling, mm?
Sometimes go to [one of the group
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