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the man who was in charge, Leadbeater, was a hard taskmaster. Not only was he a hard taskmaster, he was also a homosexual person. And it is a well-known fact that his interest in small children was basically sexual. He was found in very compromising postures with Krishnamurti too!
Those wounds have remained. Krishnamurti cannot forgive Leadbeater. Half a century has passed, or more; Leadbeater is dead, the whole Theosophical movement is dead, but those scars of Master and disciplehood, of training, surrender, obedience, have not left Krishnamurti yet. They have become very subtle as time has passed. For almost fifty years he has been fighting against ghosts which are no more in existence. He goes on boxing in the air with ghosts which are non-existential.
My sannyas and my existence are so new to him he cannot understand it -- he has not made any effort to understand it. For one and a half hours he was hammering o4 Amrito: "This is the most dangerous thing that you have done. Never become a disciple to anybody! Don't cling to a Master!"
Politely, many times Amrito reminded him that "I am not clinging to anybody. And my Master is not in favor of clinging: he gives us total freedom. It is out of freedom that we are with him, and any moment we decide not to be with him... he does not create any guilt because of that."
But he won't listen. He cannot understand this NEW phenomenon: a new kind of relationship between the Master and the disciple, the relationship which is not a relationship of dependence of any kind.
You are not clingers to me, you are not enslaved by me. My effort here is to help you to be free, to be totally free. I am included in that freedom. You have to be free of all, and I am included in that all. And if you are still with me it is not because you are dependent on me; it is because you are grateful for such a freedom. Who will not love a relationship which is basically rooted in freedom?
Relationship becomes ugly when it is not allowing you to be free, when it encages you, when it cuts your wings, when it chains your soul, when it does not allow you to be yourself. I am not imposing any rule on you, I am
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