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working on your own. Let me work! That's where the crux of the problem is -- and if you are working on your own you will get into many troubles. First, you will get tired, bored, because you will be doing the same thing again and again. If you are working on your own how can you avoid the fact that it is the same thing ? One gets fed up -- it is natural; one gets tired, bored. When something is new one is excited. Doing the same group again and again, going through the same problems with the same type of people, it becomes tiring. Then you lose your feeling for it, you have to do it mechanically: when you start doing it mechanically of course you feel it is like prostitution .
That is the problem each groupleader has to face. But those who have dropped working on their own do not have to face it; they don't carry a psychological memory of it. In fact, rather than doing the group you are just allowing me to do it. That will bring a great change. You are not burdened -- if it succeeds you don't succeed, if it fails you don't fail; if everything goes well it's good, if nothing goes well that too is good.
Then you are simply absent in a way, you don't collect a psychological memory, and then each time you will not feel the group as a repetition because you don't collect it as your own. And once this happens your creativity will be released.
The ego is very non-creative. Ordinarily people think that unless you are egoistic, how can you be creative?
The ordinary understanding -- which is a misunderstanding -- is that the ego is creative. The ego is hot creative; at the most it can be constructive, not creative. At the most it can create some innovations, but those are not discoveries. All discoveries are made in a non-ego state.
Innovation is one thing -- it is just like redecorating the room: the room is the same, the furniture is the same, the pictures are the same, the paintings are the same. You are simply redecorating; white-washing, changing a colour here and there, just putting things in a new arrangement. It is constructive, not creative: it is just the old rearranged, readjusted.
Creativity is something utterly new, discontinuous
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