| |
lost, so don't hand me that shit!"
"I locked my husband out of the house last week for playing around with other women," sobs young Mrs. Bedspring in the confession box. "And now he wants me to take him back. What should I do, Father?"
"You must take him back," replies Father Fungus, patting her hand through the curtain. "It is your Christian duty. But first," Fungus continues, tightening his grip, "how would you like to get even with the bastard!"
An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Russian Jew are discussing the meaning of true happiness.
"Coming home from work to a loving wife with a gin and tonic," spouts the Englishman.
"Ah, you English!" says the Frenchman. "Real happiness is meeting a cute little girl who spends the night with you. She entertains you and then leaves you quietly and with no regrets."
The Russian Jew is sitting, thinking.
"True happiness," he says, "I experienced a few years ago. In the middle of the night the KGB knocked on my door and shouted: `Herman Fingel! You are under arrest!'"
The Englishman and the Frenchman look at him in alarm.
"Yes!" says the Russian Jew, smiling happily. "And I shouted back: `Herman Fingel lives upstairs!'"
Now, Nivedano...
(Drumbeat)
(Gibberish)
Nivedano...
(Drumbeat)
Be silent, close your eyes.
Feel your body to be completely frozen.
Collect your consciousness, your life energy inwards.
Close all the doors and all the windows.
Just be in, concentrated.
Find the center of your life,
because that is also the center of the universe.
Finding it is the greatest blessing that man has ever experienced.
Finding it you are a buddha, this very moment.
To be a buddha is not a discipline, it is not a practice.
It is simply a remembrance.
Remember!
Just a little ice-cold water on your eyes...
Wake up!
And this moment will become your life's greatest moment.
Drink from your inner being as much light,
as much delight as you are capable of.
Let it sink into every cell and nerve of your being.
Nivedano...
(Drumbeat)
Now
|
|
|