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Main Index
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the `I' will have disappeared with it. You will be, but you will not be able to say `I'. You will be just a silence, and empty canvas, a meditation. A peacefulness, a stillness, but there will be no `I'.
Just think: slowly slowly, in a minute, drop your past. Drop your past and then think: what remains? Nothing remains. Or, only nothing remains. That nothing is you. That nothing is your reality, your essence.
So this is a mechanism to keep the ego going. You will have to repeat it: you will have to go again through the same words and the same memories and the nostalgia, again and again. And you will improve and polish on those memories. You will invent things which have never been; you will make your past look very beautiful and golden, which it was not. You will drop all that is ugly and you will go on and on projecting.
People go on inventing their past too. They make it as beautiful and rich as possible, because that is where their ego exists.
Everybody thinks that their childhood was very beautiful. The childhood was beautiful, but that childhood you don't remember at all. The womb was beautiful, but that you don't remember at all. And after birth, the first two or three years were beautiful, but that too you don't remember at all.
The childhood that you remember is after the fourth year, and that was not beautiful at all. That was one of the most difficult times in your life, because you were being forced, pulled and pushed into the social structure. You were cut this way and that, you were being adjusted to the machine. You were almost destroyed. You were manipulated. No child likes it.
Every child resists, becomes angry, rebels, but is helpless. And finally the parents win and the society wins.
Those days were ugly, remember again. There is nothing golden in them. But later on, everybody thinks those days were beautiful. That is your invention. People not only project the future, they project the past too: they go on coloring it, polishing it, retouching it again and again. And, slowly slowly, they make a fairyland of their past. And then they feel very good; the ego is supported by their beautiful past. The
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