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ego becomes beautiful through a beautiful past.
Just look into the autobiographies that people write. In autobiographies you will not find anything truthful. Or if sometimes you find something truthful it will be about others, not about the person who has written the autobiography. It will be about others but not about himself.
All autobiographies are a species of fiction. People invent them. Autobiographies should be counted as fiction, nothing else, because you write about your childhood later on. That childhood is just an invention: with all your experiences, with all your knowledge, with your whole life lived, you create a childhood. The childhood you would have liked to live, you create it. It is a beautiful fiction.
And one has to repeat it, remember one thing. Lies have to be repeated again and again, otherwise you will forget them. That's why it is said that if you want to lie you need a good memory. A man who speak the truth need not have a good memory. There is no need; the truth is the truth. The person who is constantly lying will really need a good memory. Lies have to be repeated, only then can they live; otherwise they disappear.
You ask me, Pratito, "Why do I go on mechanically into the same past again and again, repeating old habits? " Because this is the way you can keep it alive. Otherwise it will disappear on its own.
And this is something to be understood. If you stop participating with your past -- if when the past repeats like a mechanical habit you watch it, you don't cooperate with it -- you will see, you have taken the energy out of it. Slowly slowly, watching it, it starts dropping. Once your watching has become total, the past disappears.
And the disappearance of the past is satori. Because in the past exists your personality, your I, your ego, your self. With the past they all disappear and you are thrown back into the very center of your being. Again you are innocent, again you are a child.
That's what Jesus means when he say, "Unless you are like small children you will not enter into my kingdom of God."
What kingdom is he talking about? He is talking about the kingdom that is
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