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sympathize. Love can be given only when somebody is happy and flowing; then he is in the right tuning and love is possible.
I was going to give love, but you tried to deceive me -- and you got only sympathy. You cannot deceive. You are deceiving YOURSELF. But you have become so trained in your deceptions, because in the whole of your life you have been doing that.
The woman in the house is singing, humming, and happy. The moment she hears the car coming in the driveway, the husband arriving, her face changes. Now she is getting ready to ask for sympathy. She becomes sad, tired. Just a moment before she was absolutely okay, nothing was wrong with her. Just the noise of the car and she has changed. The husband is coming -- now she knows the trick: if she is unhappy, he will be sympathetic. If she is not unhappy, he will read his newspaper.
You have learnt deceptions. And they work! They work with the same level of people as you; they are also doing the same. The husband may have been humming a song while he was driving; the moment he reaches the house he makes a pose -- tired, working the whole day for the wife and the children, dead tired, needs somebody to sympathize.
Remember: sympathy is a poor substitute for love. Never settle for sympathy. Sympathy is NOTHING! And nobody feels good when he gives sympathy to you. It looks like a burden: one has to do it; it is a duty. Somebody is ill and you have to talk to him. Somebody is ill in the hospital and you have to go and sympathize. It is a duty one has to do.
Never ask for sympathy. Be happy and love will be flowing towards you. Love is the right coin; sympathy is the wrong coin. It looks like love; it is not love.
So this is the trouble: you ask for sympathy, and when sympathy is given, you are not fulfilled -- nobody can be fulfilled by sympathy. You were needing love and you asked for sympathy. You asked for the wrong food. If it is given, it will disturb your stomach. If it is not given, it will disturb your stomach all the same.
When you are asking for sympathy and it is not given, you will become more unhappy because nobody cares about you. If it is given it
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