|
Main Index
|
| |
| |
|
| |
able to throw off the mind.
But mind will persist because it is nothing but society -- society internalized. Society has entered into you -- that is your mind. You can escape from society, the outer reality, but the inner will follow you.
Many times Buddha must have been talking with Yashodhara, with his father, with the small child he left behind. The face of his child must have followed him. It was there in his mind when he left. The night he left he went into Yashodhara's room, just to see the child for the last time. The child was only one day old. Yashodhara was sleeping and the child was clinging to her breast. He looked at the child. He wanted to take the child into his hands because this was his last opportunity. He had not touched him yet and now he might never return so there would be no meeting. He was leaving the world. He wanted to touch and kiss the child but then he became afraid because if he took the child up in his hands, Yashodhara might be awakened. Then it would be very difficult for him to leave -- she would start weeping and crying. He had a human heart. It was beautiful that he thought of it: that if she started crying it would be very difficult for him to leave. Then all that he had created in his mind -- that this world was useless and futile -- would disappear. He would not be able to see Yashodhara crying. He loved that woman. So he left. He moved out of the room without making any noise.
This man could not leave Yashodhara and the child easily. No one could. When he was begging it was bound to come to his mind -- his palace and everything. He was a beggar of his own accord. The past would persist, it would hammer the mind again and again, "Come back." Many times he would think, "I have made a mistake." It is bound to be so. Nowhere is this recorded and sometimes I think about making a diary about what happened to Buddha's mind during those six years -- a diary about what happened to his mind, what was going on.
Mind will follow like a shadow wherever you go. So it is not going to be easy. It has never been easy for anyone. It will be a long struggle to make yourself again and again alert; again and again to
|
|
|
|
| |