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restrain him from jumping into the grave and being buried with his beloved Maria. Then, still overcome with grief, he was taken home in the rented limousine and immediately went into complete seclusion.
A week passed and nothing was heard of him. Finally, worried about the poor guy, his late wife's brother went to the house. After ringing the doorbell for ten minutes -- and still worried -- the brother-in-law jimmied the front door, went upstairs and found his dead sister's husband busily banging the maid.
The bedroom was a mess -- empty champagne bottles everywhere.
"This is terrible, Perelli! " the brother-in-law declared in shocked tones. "Your dead wife, my sister, has been dead only a week and you're doing this! You're doing THIS!"
So busy in the saddle was Perelli that he managed only to turn his head. "How do I know what I'm doing?" he said. "I got such grief! I got such grief!"
People are in a mess! They are just keeping face somehow, managing a facade, pretending that everything is okay. But nothing is okay.
You ask me, Sol: IT IS CLAIMED THAT WE LEARN FROM CHAOS.
Yes, it is true. But we learn from chaos only if we go inwards, if we enter into the chaos consciously, deliberately, knowingly. If we encounter the chaos, of course, we learn -- there is no other way of learning. It is really out of this chaos that stars are born. It is out of this chaos that Buddhas are born -- but you have to encounter it.
And we go on doing just the opposite: we go on hiding it, covering it. We don't want to show it to anybody and we don't want to see it ourselves. We are so frightened, we are so scared. We are afraid that we may not be able to manage. We are afraid that if we go in we may not be able to come back. So we cling to anything on the outside; any excuse is enough to cling. We go on clinging to something or other -- we just go on avoiding ourselves.
The person that you are avoiding the most in your life is you. Your whole life is managed in such a way that you never come across yourself. You have been trained, brought up, educated, cultured, civilized in such a way that you will never meet yourself.
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