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in one moment she is angry, in another moment she is loving; in one moment she is ready to kill or to commit suicide. And this is very difficult for an intellectual, because he moves through reason, step by step. His working is that of syllogism and he cannot understand what type of things are happening. This looks nonsense, insane, but that's why he has fallen in love.
Now this woman cannot understand what this logic and this mathematics and cleverness is, why there are always calculations and why one should be rational. Why not irrational? What is wrong in being irrational?
Marilyn Monroe committed suicide. Before she committed suicide she wrote a letter to a friend and in that letter she writes, 'I could not make it with Miller, and I know that there was no possibility of finding a better man.' She left -- she divorced, she married thrice -- but every time it was a failure, because she would always be attracted to something which was against her temperament. The people who would be attracted to her were attracted to the opposite, and then there was conflict.
Now this is the problem: attraction and conflict come out of the same reason -- attraction out of the opposition and conflict out of the opposition. So lovers continue to fight... they remain intimate enemies. That enmity can only be dropped if you really become very understanding.
So my suggestion is that this is not your case in particular, this is the case in general. All love affairs, more or less, come to this point -- they have to come, because from the very beginning the affair is doomed. The attraction is towards the opposite -- how can you avoid the conflict? The conflict is implied in the attraction itself. This is the trouble, it is in-built.
So once two lovers have settled, the attraction disappears -- because now you have become familiar with each other; the attraction is bound to settle. Now there will not be honeymoon peaks -- you will live on a plain ground. Once the attraction settles there are only peaks of conflict. When the honeymoon is there and the peaks of honeymoon are there, the conflict is not apparent. Mm? it is deep in the valleys far away. You
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