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then those thorns are there, and sooner or later they hurt.
So what has to be done is to first think of it as a general case. I insist on that -- to think of it as a general case. Why do I insist? Because once you see something as general, you become more objective. Then it is not something in particular for you. It is not that something has gone wrong between [you both]; [you] are irrelevant. It is something that always goes wrong between every [couple].
Once you have seen that this is a general case -- degrees may differ but the basic thing does not differ -- you have a more objective observation and things can be easily solved. Then you are not personally involved. You have a little distance.
Whenever things go well, enjoy -- whenever they don't, don't pay too much attention to them. So whenever you can be in a good mood and together, be together, otherwise be separate... because we are not here to cripple each other. If we cannot make the other happy then it is better that we should not come into the picture at all.
So whenever you are both feeling good, happy, meet, commune, love each other, but when you feel that now your temperaments are asserting themselves, there is no point in living together; leave each other alone. That will help much, because when you are left alone there is no point in being angry and sad. And there is no necessity to go through all torture -- it is not worth it. What is the point of continuously torturing each other? Then you are some sort of a masochist or sadist; it is ill.
Once you understand and she understands that this is the thing -- if we can be happy, we have to be together, if we cannot be happy, then we separate.... Once that thing is decided, things will change, because I don't think that you want to be separate. Once that dagger is there, hanging over you, things will settle.
And don't try to change each other, because that never, never happens. People go on hoping and waste their whole life. You will try to change her and she will try to change you -- that is nonsense! Why bother? If you can love the person as he is, love. If you cannot love the person as he is, leave! If it
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