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bystander asked the bartender why the customer left the two drinks.
"Oh, he does that all the time," said the bartender. "He says THE FIRST ONE ALWAYS TASTES TERRIBLE AND THE LAST ONE GETS HIM IN TROUBLE AT HOME."
50.
Mulla Nasrudin was complaining about his wife to a friend.
"I don't know what I am going to do about her," he said. "She has the worst memory in the world."
"You mean she forgets everything?" asked his friend.
"HECK, NO," said Nasrudin. "SHE REMEMBERS EVERYTHING."
51.
"Doctor," a woman said as she rushed into Mulla Nasrudin's house, "I want you to tell me frankly, exactly what is wrong with me."
Nasrudin looked her over from head to foot, then said, "Madam, I have three things to tell you. First, you are about fifty pounds overweight, Second, your looks would be improved if you took off several layers of rouge and lipstick. AND THIRD, I AM NOT THE DOCTOR. THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE IS ACROSS THE STREET."
52.
Mulla Nasrudin had been fishing all afternoon. A man, who had just walked up, asked him, "How many have you caught today, Mulla?"
"Well," said Nasrudin, "IF I CATCH THIS ONE THAT'S NIBBLING, AND THEN TWO MORE, I WILL HAVE THREE."
53.
Mulla Nasrudin went to see his lawyer about a divorce.
"What grounds do you think you have for a divorce?" the lawyer asked.
"It's my wife's manners," said the Mulla. "She has such bad table manners that she is disgracing the whole family."
"That's bad," the lawyer said. "How long have you been married?"
"Nine years," said the Mulla.
"If you have been able to put up with her table manners for nine years, I can't understand why you want a divorce now," the lawyer said.
"WELL," said Nasrudin, "I DIDN'T KNOW IT BEFORE. I JUST BOUGHT A BOOK OF ETIQUETTE THIS MORNING."
54.
"Insurance is the greatest thing in the world," the eager insurance salesman said to his prospect, Mulla Nasrudin. "Why, I carry a $75,000 policy on my own life, payable to my wife."
"IN THAT CASE," said Nasrudin, "WHAT EXCUSE DO YOU HAVE FOR LIVING?"
55.
Mulla Nasrudin was telling his
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