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Main Index
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| | | Book Name: Yoga - The Alpha and the Omega, Vol 5 | Previous Next | |
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of the Master may even create a resistance in you. I feel that many times. If I am after you too much you start escaping from me. If I am trying too hard to do something you become afraid. I have to give you doses according to your capacity to digest.
It depends on you. If you want, everything is possible; but deep down you don't want it. That is the problem you cling to it. You say that you would like to be enlightened, you say that you are finished with this whole rotten life and you would like to transcend it -- but are you really finished with it? Have you really closed your accounts with it? Is not there somewhere deep inside you a desire lurking still, a hope alive still, a seed which can sprout any moment in another life? If you watch you will understand that there is a desire, a hope, that you may not have known the whole of life, that maybe there is something you have been missing, that maybe there was some bliss and you didn't knock at the right door. That continues.
You come to me, but you come halfheartedly. That is not a coming; that is not a coming at all. You only appear to come to me, but you never come. I promise you I will not leave any stone unturned, but are you here? Are you close to me, near? You are very cunning and clever; even when you are close you go on protecting yourself in a thousand and one ways.
For example, even your questions, your attitudes, are protective. And you don't know what they are protecting. I know one of you, a very miserly woman -- she is here to get enlightenment. But since she has been here she has been asking questions: why the ashram has such a costly car, why I wear a costly watch. What has she to do with the car or the watch? Why are only these questions arising in her mind? Her own miserliness -- protecting. I know she is an adamant miser, and unless her miserliness is broken she cannot grow.
That is for me to decide, what car to have or not have. And I have my own reasons, and you cannot understand my reasons. I never use it, but I have it. It is just sitting there. But it did a miracle; it changed many things. I was surrounded by a few misers, marvadis, and they wouldn't leave me.
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