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Main Index
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| | | Book Name: Yoga - The Alpha and the Omega, Vol 6 | Previous Next | |
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say, "I would have left" -- now, that sannyas is creating fetters on you. Drop it. I am here to liberate you, not to fetter you. Forget about it.
"Moreover, my previous Master now would not accept me, perhaps, because I betrayed him and lost my faith." That is for you to decide. You can go to a new Master if the old will not accept you, or you can go and try again. If the old was really a Master he will accept a thousand and one times, because when a disciple betrays, it is nothing much to fuss about. It is almost natural. More cannot be expected from ignorant persons. Go and try the old Master. Maybe he is waiting for you. And if he cannot forgive he is not a Master; then find one somewhere else.
And, "anyway I don't wish to lose faith in you." You have already lost it. In fact you never had it, because once you have faith how can you lose it? Difficult to understand, but once you have faith you cannot lose it. It is nothing which can be taken back. Who will take it back? Faith means you surrender the ego. This can be the last act of the ego. Surrendered, how can you take it back? If you can take it back, the surrender was not surrender at all -- you were playing with the word, but you don't know what it means. If you surrender, to be a surrender it has to be total and final -- utterly final. There is no way going back.
"Anyway I don't wish to lose faith in you." Why is this idea arising? You don't have faith; you have already lost it. In fact you never had it. This will look like a paradox, but this is true: Only that faith can be lost which was never there in the first place. If you don't have faith you can lose it; if you have, there is no possibility. It is utterly impossible to lose it, because in faith you have lost yourself -- now nobody is standing behind who can take it back and go home.
"Now I don't hanker after enlightenment." You are hanker ing; otherwise what is the need to cling to my feet? My feet are worthless. Why cling to them? What are they going to give to you? Deep down a hankering... maybe now more subtle, more garbed, not so gross, but it is still there. "If you can keep me bound to your feet...." But why? What
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