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we need not throw anything, that everything can be transformed. The lower is the way to the higher, the dark night is the womb for the morning, and the darker the night, the closer is the morning.
Nothing has to be renounced but everything has to be transformed.
[A sannyasin, leaving, says she has a burning desire to be total, and at the same time is so overwhelmed with her energy she doesn't know what to do.]
This is the problem for everybody. This is not only your problem.
The mind allows nobody to be total; and everybody is burning for totality. It is good that you have become aware of it, because this burning, this pain, sooner or later will help you to attain to totality; there is no other I way. The whole way is full of pain. Only in the end when you have achieved totality does the whole pain disappear, and then you are thankful to the pain, because without it you would have never reached. So this is perfectly good!
Remember two things. One: the desire for totality is good, it is a blessing, because in other words that is the desire for god. The second thing to remember: meanwhile don't stop yourself because you are not total; that is not going to help. If you stop even being partial how are you going to be total one day?
So meanwhile go on as much as possible bringing totality into your acts, into your love-making, into everything that you do. It will not be absolute; you have to accept that it will remain something short, never reaching the peak. That has to be accepted and one has to go on working on oneself. One day one reaches to the peak.
Many times the mountaineer finds himself stuck; he has to change his route, he has to change his direction. But if one goes on and on.... Fifty years it took to reach Everest, and in fifty years hundreds of mountaineers tried and failed. But finally one day, one man succeeded.
And that's how life is: you will fail many times, and each time the failure will give you great frustration and great agony. In failure you may even start thinking 'What is the point of it all? Why make love when it is not total?' But that is not going to help; not making love is not going
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