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the less is the possibility of doing any harm to me.
And of course I can understand you and your problem. You have to live this dilemma. Those who followed Socrates, they had to live it; it purified them. For those who lived with Jesus, it was a tremendous transfiguration.
If anything happens to me, much will happen to you simultaneously.
You can go on taking me for granted and postponing the urgent, immediate penetration into your being. But if something is done to me, perhaps that will bring the urgency, because now you cannot take me for granted.
In fact, a very famous case can be considered....
Gautam Buddha had given initiation to his own cousin-brother, Ananda. Ananda was older than Gautam Buddha; before taking initiation he told Gautam Buddha, "Right now, I am your older brother; I can dictate anything to you and you will have to follow it" -- just the old obedience. "But I have come to be initiated by you. After initiation, I will be just a disciple amongst thousands of other disciples. So before initiation I want you to remember three conditions.
"First, I will always remain with you, you cannot send me away from you on any mission. I will take care of your body, of your food, of your medicine. Secondly, if I ask any question, you cannot say, `Wait for the right time.' You cannot postpone it, you have to answer immediately. Thirdly, if I want somebody to meet you -- even in the middle of the night -- you cannot say no."
Buddha said, "There is no difficulty. I will remember your conditions."
And Ananda remained for forty-two years his disciple, continuously following him like a shadow, serving him, helping him in every possible way -- but he did not become enlightened. Others who had come later on went on becoming enlightened. He was very much puzzled.
He asked Buddha, "What is going wrong? People who have come very late have become enlightened masters, and I have been with you for all these forty-two years, and I don't know even the abc of enlightenment."
Buddha said, "You will become enlightened the day I die, not before it."
Ananda was very much puzzled. He said, "Why?"
Buddha
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