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said, "Simple psychology. You trust that I am your brother, I will not leave you unenlightened, so you have not been doing what I have been saying. You have been just believing that `My brother will not leave me unenlightened.' What can I do? I can only indicate, I cannot become enlightened on your behalf."
And exactly what Buddha said happened. The day he died, Ananda did not move from the place where he was sitting by the side of Buddha. His body was taken to the funeral pyre; Ananda did not move. He closed his eyes. For the first time, a tremendous urgency had arisen. If he misses this moment, then one never knows how many lives it will take to find another master of the caliber of Gautam Buddha. And Buddha had said, "After I die you will become enlightened."
"I will not move from this place. I will not open my eyes, I will not eat, I will not drink. I will do what he has been saying and I have been postponing." He became enlightened by the evening. In the morning Buddha died; by the evening Ananda became enlightened. The urgency had arisen.
So if something happens to me, it will be an urgency for you. If nothing happens to me, I am your urgency.
It is time for Sardar Gurudayal Singh.
Paddy finds an old tandem, a two-man bicycle, on the scrap heap, and fixes it up. Then he and Seamus decide to go out for a ride on it to the top of Heart Attack Hill.
After two hours of furious pedaling up the steep hill, they finally arrive at the top.
"Jeezus Christ!" gasps Paddy, on the front. "I did not think we would ever make it."
"Me either," pants Seamus, at the back, "and we would have slid all the way backwards if I had not kept the brakes on!"
Little Eggbert has a nasty habit of cursing and swearing, and his parents cannot seem to do anything with him. One day, Father Fungus comes for tea.
Little Eggbert comes up to the priest and says, "More fucking tea, Father?"
Father Fungus is shocked, so he suggests that his parents send Eggbert to see Doctor Feelgood, the psychiatrist.
"Tell me, Eggbert," says the shrink, "what would you like most in the world?"
"Wow! I would like a god-dammed
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