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rabbit!" cries Eggbert.
"Okay," says Feelgood, "your mom and dad will get you a rabbit if you promise not to swear again. Is it a deal?"
"Sure, Mr. Shrink, sir!" exclaims Eggbert. "I will do it!"
So Eggbert gets his rabbit, and for two weeks all is peaceful around the house. Then one day, Sunday morning, Father Fungus comes for tea.
"I hear you have a pet rabbit now, Eggbert," says the priest. "Can I see it?"
"Sure," says Eggbert, and runs out in the garden to get his pet. But just as he brings it into the room, the rabbit starts to give birth to an enormous bunch of baby rabbits.
Eggbert watches in horror for a moment, then puts the mother rabbit on the ground, looks at the priest and cries, "Holy Shit! The fucking thing is falling apart!"
Milton Trueheart is driving along in his Rolls Royce when he sees his old school friend, Etta Apple. He pulls over, lowers the electric window and says, "Hi, Etta! How are you?"
"Wow!" says Etta, "is that you, Milton? And in a Rolls Royce? How did you make so much money?"
"I am a fortune teller," replies Milton. "I can see the future."
"I would love to learn how to do that," says Etta.
"So jump in the car," says Milton, "and I will tell you all about it."
Etta gets into the car and they drive off to Milton's house.
"Okay," says Milton, when they arrive. "So you want to learn about fortune telling? Then take off your blouse."
"Take off my blouse?" says Etta. "Are you crazy?"
"Look," says Milton, "do you want to know? Then trust me."
So Etta takes off her blouse.
"Good," says Milton, "now take off your skirt."
"Take off my skirt?" cries Etta. "What is going on here?"
"Do you want to learn how to see the future?" asks Milton. "Then trust me."
So Etta takes off her skirt.
"Now," says Milton, "take off your panties and lie on the couch."
"What?" screams Etta. "Why should I take off my panties? What are you going to do? Fuck me?"
"Good," says Milton, "you are learning already!"
Nivedano...
(drumbeat)
(gibberish)
Nivedano...
(drumbeat)
Be
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