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Main Index
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with that dead past on top of it you are crushing it. And that dead past won't allow you to live any moment totally, it always pulls you back. You want to go ahead, but it pulls you back. Even if you go, you don't go the whole way. So nothing is fulfilled, nothing is ever fulfilled. You have never loved, you have never laughed. Yes, you have laughed many times but the laughter has never been total, it was always partial, fragmentary.
You are still not aware of what life is -- you have not yet danced that dance, you have not yet sung that song. When you live life in its totality, moment to moment, you don't feel afraid of death, there is nothing to be afraid of. You have lived your life, you have enjoyed this blessing, you feel grateful. Death will start appearing like a great rest, nothing else. Death will not be able to take anything from you because whatsoever can be taken has been dropped before death comes. You have never accumulated it. And death will not destroy anything because you know how to live each moment totally. When death comes, you will also live death totally.
When Socrates was dying after being poisoned, his disciples were crying and weeping. He opened his eyes and said, 'What are you doing? Why are you crying? In such a beautiful moment what are you doing? Why are you missing this? Participate with me. Death is happening. Don't miss this opportunity. Try to see death. That's what I am doing.'
And he went on saying to his disciples, 'Now my legs have gone numb. But it is mysterious -- my legs have gone numb, I cannot feel my legs any more, but my feeling about myself is still the same, it is not less.' Then he said, 'My hands are going numb. They have disappeared. I cannot feel them.' He asked one of his disciples to pinch him. He was pinched, but he couldn't feel it. And he laughed and said, 'This is strange. Now my body is almost dead but I am as alive as ever. My feeling of consciousness is as total as ever.'
Then he started feeling that his heart was sinking but to the very last moment he was saying, 'Remember, this is my last saying. I will not be able to say anything more because my tongue is getting frozen.' The
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