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Main Index
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'My, what good news we are having today! Your wife just gave birth to triplets!'
'Now there is a coincidence,' the Ph.D. said, 'I work for the Three-M Company!'
Just then the third Ph.D. fainted. The nurse called an intern and together they worked to revive the Ph.D. As a matter of routine they checked his wallet for identification. It was then that they discovered that he was a salesman for Seven-Up!
All these Ph.D.s and D.Litt.s are just stuffed tomatoes. But the whole education is doing that: making people parrots, giving them stupid ideas.
The son of an intellectual comes to his father and asks, 'Daddy, what is dialectics?'
The father, not wanting to leave his son without an answer, says, 'Listen to the following, son. Let us suppose that two men come into a restaurant, one with dirty hands and the other with clean hands. Which one is going to go and clean his hands?'
'The one with dirty hands, of course, Daddy!'
'Very good,' says the father. 'Now let's suppose that the two men walk into a restaurant, one with dirty hands and the other with clean hands. Which one is going to go and wash his hands?'
'The one with dirty hands, Dad. I just told you!'
'No, not this time, son. The one who will go and wash his hands is the one who already has clean hands, because he is in the habit of cleaning them. The one with dirty hands is in the habit of keeping his hands dirty.'
'What a mess, Daddy!'
'That's it, Son! Now you are beginning to understand dialectics.'
A young professor had been invited to address a poultry convention. 'The first thing you must do, to properly raise a flock,' he said, 'is to separate the male chicks from the female chicks.'
After he finished, a lady enquired, 'How can you tell male chicks from female chicks?'
'Well,' he said, 'you go out into your yard and dig a pailful of worms. Then you set them before the chicks, and the male chicks will eat the male worms, and the female chicks will eat the female worms. '
'Yes, but, Professor, how do you tell a male worm from a female worm?'
'Madam,' came the answer, 'I'm a poultry expert, not a worm
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