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learn, go into it deeply, but still remain a witness, and then there will be no conflict. There is no conflict.
You will become able!
Deva means divine, premi means a lover. Love can be manifest in three dimensions: the physiological, the psychological, the spiritual.
The physiological is the lowest. Nothing is wrong about it, it is beautiful, but one should not get stuck in it. It has to become a stepping-stone: one has to go beyond it. By going beyond it, the animal disappears and the man is born.
When one becomes able to love psychologically then one is really a human being; because sex is part of animality, there is nothing special about it. Love is totally human, but even love has not to become the end, one has to go beyond it. By going beyond it the human being disappears and the divine is born. That is spiritual love. That love is known as prayer. From sex to love, from love to prayer: that has to be the inner growth.
So remember it: the divine lover has to be searched for. It is there inside, still a seed somewhere, but at any moment it can start growing.
Deva means divine, asmita means I-am-ness, divine I-am-ness. And this has to become your meditation: sitting silently, just repeat inside 'I am, I am' and become very alert while you are repeating it, 'I am.' This is your mantra. Walking, repeat it very silently, very slowly, deep down, but with great awareness that you are doing it, not mechanically, not just doing anything and repeating it too. Whenever you are repeating it nothing else has to be in your mind, only this one feeling of I-am-ness. And you will be surprised, slowly slowly the I will disappear and there will be only am-ness, just a feeling of being; that is meditation.
Gurdjieff used to call it self-remembering. To remember oneself is all; everything else is just a means to remember oneself. We are, but we are not aware that we are. That's why we are not aware of who we are. the beginning has to be a deep remembrance that 'I am.' In the beginning don't bother about 'Who am I?' First, one has to remember that one is.
Once you have started remembering that you are, that very penetration,
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